BREXIT Explained for Australians

Henry VIII was Britain's First Brexiteer



For people in Australia the whole EU Brexit thing can be very weird. That’s because we don’t teach European history in schools. So for those interesting in such things let me explain….

Europe was first integrated by the Romans who established the first centralised EU bureaucracy. Eventually the Roman Catholic Church replaced the Roman Empire. Once the Vatican got Western Europe established they decided to expand into Russia with the fourth crusade in 1201. It took the Russians a while but they won back their lost lands in 1261. The Russian Orthodox Church got a bit miffed about it all and didn’t talk to the Vatican for over eight centuries. They have been a bit suspicious of Western intentions ever since.



In 1531 the English king Henry VIII got a bit miffed with EU regulations, specifically the one about not chopping your wife’s head off and marrying someone else, and took Britain out of Europe. In doing so he inadvertently helped the Reformation along which led to the industrial revolution which made Britain a world power and established global European supremacy in the 19th Century.

The next major attempt at European unity was secular and led by the French dictator Napoleon. Napoleon thought that invading Russia would be a good idea, assembled a coalition of European nations, and marched on Moscow. The Russians slaughtered them, and the Prussians and the British BREXITed Napoleon at the battle of Waterloo.

Sometime later the Prussians, the Brits and the French decided to have another go at Russia and invaded Crimea. The Russians slaughtered them and the Brits went home and built the British Empire instead. (Prussians are Germans BTW).

Then in the early 20^th Century the British establishment became concerned at the rise of Germany and their military and industrial potential, so they allied with France over a relatively trivial border dispute and imposed a naval blockade on Germany. This precipitated a war which got rid of a lot of unnecessary working class people (around 15 million of them) who were getting a bit uppity about their rights, and put Germany back in its box. This is called ‘World War One’. Just to be sure, the treaty of Versailles was designed to destroy the German economy.

After this Germany developed a more muscular policy towards European integration and integrated the whole of Western and Eastern Europe suppressing popular nationalist movements. Hitler thought that invading Russia would be a good idea, assembled a coalition of European nations, and marched on Moscow. The Russians slaughtered them.

The British establishment was favourable towards European integration but were thwarted by the British secret service, the working class, and a maverick Tory named Winston Churchill (not to mention the RAF).

In the 1970s Thatcher led Britain into the Common Market - a Northern European customs and currency union. However, this became a mechanism whereby the Germans and French re-integrated the whole of Europe including the Eastern States suppressing popular nationalist movements. Once they got Europe established they decided to expand into Russia. So they and the USA sponsored a coupe in Ukraine which aimed to capture …. Crimea. Russia held a free and fair referendum in Crimea and the majority voted to stay with Russia, which they did. So after three hundred years of Europe trying to annex Crimea, the Western media now accuse Russians of Annexing their own country. It’s really quite funny.

The British establishment remained favourable towards European integration but some idiot named David Cameron forgot that the British are British and allowed a popular vote on staying in the EU which the EU lost. The establishment pulled out all stops but still it may now have been thwarted by the working class telling Jeremy Corbyn to get stuffed, and a maverick Tory named Boris Johnson (not to mention an annoying nationalist called Nigel Farage).

Not discussed in this article is Islam’s thousand year attempt to colonise and occupy Europe. Facilitating that is now the policy of Germany, the EU, and all the leftist/progressive parties of Europe, and around 200 NGOs funded by an ex-Nazi collaborator called George Soros. This is of course an underlying reason for BREXIT.

So there you have it. It’s all about chlorinated chicken, silly internet memes, and a man with a bad haircut.

Personally, now that the people have spoken through two elections and a referendum this is the message I would like Boris to take to the EU.